Cold

will you always follow me?
your eyes are hungry cavities
i can see the place where your hand touched the doorframe
and the place you'll leave in the bed where i sleep

i touch my forehead as i brush my teeth
paper skin and chalk underneath
you stand behind me nodding so slightly
reminding me that this sojourn is brief

i long to gaze around me
without stumbling on your face
i long to drink deeply
without choking on your taste
be gone, please go
how can i taste every drop
when you're staring at me so cold

i pitch and turn in the folds of my sheets
i'm dancing with you in my cavernous dreams
we waltz so sweetly, you dip me so deeply
that at the crest of the arc, i forget to breathe

my light will shortly flicker
my warmth will shortly fade
this waltz will soon recede into
the unforgiving shade
hush now it's late
oh please little darlin'
don't be afraid

i won't lie here
freezing to death
there's still warm blood in me
there are embers glowing yet
my eyes are clear
my jaw is set

(4th song in video)

I have been told that I am obsessed with mortality... I may have a slight fixation with the subject. (Exhibit A) But... I feel like this is Not Weird. If we are finite creatures whose subjective experience will one day blink out, why don't we all think about that every minute of every day??? I am not a weirdo. It's the people who NEVER think about it who are weirdos. (Also, we are all weirdos, including me. Stay Weird, freaks.)

Most of my songs dip their metaphorical toes into the water of existential musing. Even the really happy ones! And the message is always this: carpe diem, memento mori, eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die. I didn't invent these sentiments, but I sing about them a lot, and this song is no exception. The "you" in this song is Death itself, and I am wondering whether I will ever be able to just go about my business without contemplating the inevitable all the time. (Spoiler: No I will not.)

I forget exactly where and when I wrote this song. I guess you have to say goodbye to some memories now and again if you want to remember where you parked and how to create pivot tables in Excel. Just kidding, I have no idea how to make a pivot table. Or where I parked.