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Echoes

it burns and it stings 
as the bow bites the strings
pain from an old wound i can't ignore
the smell of new grass
bright shards of broken glass
and a kiss by the tavern's back door

those were the trappings and that was the time
it didn't last long but it was sublime
i'm much less reckless now that i'm grown
but i'd risk it all
for one sad, sad song
about someone that i loved
a long time ago

a slice of the moon
on the last day of june
lights the swings and the old jungle gym
a glance and a tryst 
chasing gin with a twist
i was leaving it just wasn't with him

those were the textures and that was the taste
the dew in my hair and the warmth on my face
now i am reaping the crop that i've sown
and i'd risk it all
for one sad, sad song
about someone that i loved
a long time ago

now i wouldn't change a thing
i just need a little space to keep
the echoes of a song i used to sing.

Sometimes you just need the name of a drink that rhymes with "tryst," you know? Actually, I've only ever had gin a handful of times in my life but there's something very wistful and melancholy about the thought of it. 

I've fallen in romantic love a few times in my life. Probably... four. No wait, five. That seems like a lot to me, but I think it's accurate. Not all of those being-in-loves lasted a very long time, because being in love doesn't always mean you rent an apartment together and adopt a disobedient cat. Sometimes it means you're fifteen and you would fall in love with a goldfish if it gave you sufficient validation. Sometimes it means that you're both great people but you're also really just children playing house and you haven't figured out how to be a decent human being, so things just don't go well. Five is correct, given the fluid nature of romantic human love. 

I think that no matter how happy I am in my chosen life, there will always be a part of me that mourns for all the thousands of paths I won't get to explore and lives I won't get to lead. After all, we only get to do this once. This song is just a little place where I can keep those feelings.

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