Mischief in Dreams
i've been spinning my wheels for quite some time now
digging myself a nice little hole in the ground
most of my bills are paid but my plant is sick and dying
haven't answered the mail in a while
thought i had simple needs
thought i had simple dreams
now i'm too tired to dream anymore
if i can't have what i want
i'll learn to want what i have
i will keep my feet on the ground
and when it's too much i'll go to sleep
and get up to mischief in my dreams
in my dreams
none of the dishes are done and the laundry still needs folding
the bathroom sink is hopelessly blocked
i always drink too much and i still have not quit smoking
though i frequently say i'll stop
thought i had simple needs
thought i had simple feelings
now i'm too tired to feel anymore
if i can't have what i want
i'll learn to want what i have
i will keep my feet on the ground
i've been kidding myself for quite some time now
trying to be lovely poised and pure
i am this size and this shape and i will not soon be changing
but loving yourself can be such a chore
spinning my wheels
digging a hole
kidding myself
falling asleep
Periodically, I decide that I am unable to write anything further because I have nothing meaningful to say and nobody should ever listen to me. That's the place this song grew from - basically just feeling like a worthless nothing whose house is a shambles and also whose life is a shambles. Everything shambles! I had just started working at my Joe Job and that felt like an admission of failure. I was not a musician or music teacher or a recording artist, I was a mere pusher of buttons in a cubicle... Happily, writing something self-indulgent about learning to be ok with your crappy, mediocre life made me realize that I am substantially ok with my crappy, mediocre life, and that I should keep writing songs even if they don't matter. It's enough that it makes me happy to write them and sing them in my spare time. And maybe they do matter, just a little.