Road Left to Spare
i have measured out my life in ticket stubs
scribbled songs on the backs of receipts
i have laid my head on many pillows and
i have choked down my portion of grief
and i laughed when those children called me darling
they were so stupid and so dear
but when you began to call me pretty names
i never knew those words could sound so real
now i cup my chin in the palm of my hand
in the candle's guttering light
and i squeeze your hand in the darkness
like our bodies could hold back the night
darlin' i would follow you anywhere
and we'll get where we're going
on a wing and a prayer
darlin' i would follow you anywhere
and we'll get where we're going
with road left to spare
it once was said by a thoughtful man
all who wander are not lost
if wandering is the path you choose
i would follow at any cost
i have not been the sort to pray
and to church i've never been
but if fervent prayer would convey us there
i would write you an honest hymn
thinking all this in an empty bar
squeezing your fingers in mine
our little oasis of candlelight
is safe and still and fine
Julien and I had a really excellent honeymoon. We were married in June of 2012, which is both back in the misty reaches of the distant past and also 5 minutes ago. It is both. Our honeymoon was a wedding gift from my parents, and we had lots of open-ended time to spend on it because neither of us were employed at the time. (!!!) We spent three weeks driving around the East coast of Canada, starting in Napanee, and stopping in Rimouski, Shediac, Charlottetown, Cape Breton, Halifax, Saint John, and many other little villages in between. We had such a good time. Julien doesn't care much for seafood but I ate basically every character in the Little Mermaid. We stood on freezing cold beaches wrapped in towels, went on hikes, played open mics, looked at ancient fossils, ate at farmer's markets, spent the whole time calling each other "husband" and "wife", and generally being giddy. Even Julien cracking his head open on a rock on the beach at Inverness in Cape Breton did not dampen our spirits! The other beachgoers were SO wonderful - a nurse who happened to be on the shore that day escorted us to a nearby hospital where we did not have to wait (!!!!!), and Julien didn't have a concussion, and everything was fine, so we just kept going. Isn't that just the perfect metaphor for how to approach life? Sure, you cut your head open and there's blood everywhere, but also it's a beautiful day and you're fine really, so let's keep going.
I wrote this song in a bar on Gottingen street in Halifax, years later, when I was travelling on my own. Its scaffolding was forged during our honeymoon, but also in all the time before that Julien and I have spent being partnered to one another. Now that we have kids together, I'd say that maybe I wouldn't follow him anywhere exactly. I would have questions. Can the kids come too? Will there be seating? Are there bathrooms? Will there be shade? But for the most part, this holds up, and it has one of my favourite lines I ever wrote: "Like our bodies could hold back the night." Ah, if only they could.