Such a World as This

My older sister didn't tell me that she was pregnant with her first son until she was already three months along. I know this is a pretty standard delay in terms of announcing pregnancies, but to me? Her sister?? Excusez-moi??? Now that I have two of my own kids, I empathize with this choice. It is nice to have a secret. It is especially nice to have a little, protected window of time with your eensy weensy baby and perhaps also your partner, without letting the world come pouring in. After I had my first daughter, I didn't call anyone in my family until a full 8 hours after she was out, because I wanted that window of time too. So, forgiveness and empathy. 

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But when the news dropped that my sister was having a baby, it wasn't just the news of the one baby - it was the news that our whole family was entering a new chapter: The Baby Chapter! My nephew was not only the first baby of our immediate family, he was the first baby of most of my sisters' and my friend groups. He was the first baby of all our Canadian cousins. He was the first baby I ever met or held as an adult. Alpha Baby! The Little Emperor!  And I was moved by this transition into making room for the next generation. I am always moved. I am basically a soggy mess, just emoting all over the place. It's very stressful for my family. But sometimes it leads to really nice songs. This song started as an attempt to write a message to my newborn nephew. It ended up evolving into not being an especially hopeful message, which is why it's not officially dedicated to him. I have written many other songs and poems in honour of my children and nieflings, and for their enjoyment. Much of it is far more joyful and optimistic. But this is the one that started it all, and (like all my work) it's just How I Feel. It is not hopeful, but it is beautiful.